Vulnerability sucks

Life is painful.  There are good and bad experiences but the older you get, the more obvious it becomes that it just gets tougher.  Each time you get knocked down, it is harder, more laborious, to get back up again. 

Everyone goes through shit.  End of.  But how is it possible to move through something and then simultaneously put it behind you whilst sharing it with someone you care for?  When you fall for someone, you want to know everything about them.  They want to know everything about you.

The most depressing thing is that the more shit you experience, the more you think you only deserve shit.  This is what is known as standard across humanity.  Or as Vivienne uttered in Pretty Woman, “if people put you down enough you start to believe it”.  So what happens when you know they are wrong, you are more awesome than the haters will accept, but the object of your affections is exalted in your eyes?  When despite yourself you cannot prevent yourself adoring every little thing about them?  How do you force yourself to accept that this most wonderful of beings, this god-like creature who fills you with happiness humility and awe, could look down from his place so high above you and pluck you from the crowd to be with him?

And how, despite knowing him and trusting him implicitly, do you give 100% trust to another when you don’t even trust yourself? But how do you show that you ARE trusting as much as you can, and you want to move things forward and build something special?